Sometime it just feels like the proverbial fecal matter just hits the oscillating metal fins and all of a sudden I have just should all over myself. I'm feeling a little like I'm in that predicament. I can tell because I have been driving too fast and listening to music that I have not enjoyed since my college years. You know the type, every other word is missing and it only sounds good if played at a decibel that will shatter car windows and ear drums alike. Yeah, angst. It happens in your thirties too apparently.
So what brought this about? Working too hard on things that aren't really important while falling behind on things that are really important. Not enough exercise. The monotony of repetitive tasks. Need for adrenaline. Setbacks that in all reality are far more minor than they initially seem to be. Spending too much time judging myself. It's funny how when you are dissatisfied you can suddenly call yourself a bad husband, son, friend, man; whatever you want to be down on yourself about.
So what went awry? I happened to scroll through The Art of Manliness, which is a great website on how to be more the man you want to be. They have an article about building a blueprint for your life. Light-bulb! I am a man with a plan, have been my entire life but I haven't checked back in with my plan in while. When I was deployed I put my plan off to the side. I was planning for others, helping them run their lives/careers and concerned with getting all my Soldiers and equipment back home. However, the tasks to get there were stuff that I had drilled for years. Auto pilot was so easy. I came home and stayed on auto pilot.
So it's time to check in with my plan. If it still makes sense then I need to keep going forward with it. If not, I need to make some adjustments. No offense Linkin Park; but you need to go back to my workout mix and not be a staple of my life.
